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Driving to Olympia was a breeze this time, last year any trip I did to the Pugetropolis was absolutely murder...that included Seattle, Tacoma and Portland --this really played into the superstition sector of my brain ...."If this drive to the Great Northern Bench Press and Deadlift meet is un-traumatic,then we're headed to success in our lifting." Yes, for Nancy...Yes for me too, but with some complications..It started with weighing in heavy for the 308's --GOOD GOD!!! how heavy do you have to be to not make sub super???...people laughed...I ask the desk clerk for the sauna..."No sauna, sir but we have an exercise room" then as a wise ass I asked for garbage bags...without blinking or asking why... he handed me 3 super gigantic size ones...goooood ...now all I have to do is fashion a sweat suit out of them and I'm into the exercise room...I do just that..and find that someone in my same situation has already turned the heat in the exercise room to illegal -spontaneous combustion mode ...so I do 20 minutes of bike and various sweatable movements--then I go to my room and turn the shower on to 'scald' and let the room fill with steam (clothes still on ) I spit -I pee- I have NO plotz ..so I dont do that...I weigh in...and I'm a few ounces over so I take my socks and shorts off ...dont try this at home folks....the fact that sweat has soaked into said articles of clothing --I'm weighing some water that I had just sweat off...and the scale is so frightened to see me in the nude it registers 307.4 (limit is 308.5) and I'm in my class...you may remember in previous writings I've said if I ever get to 300lbs I'll kill myself (or my heart will do it for me) well, like the Alanis line in "You oughta know" I'm still alive-- so I check that Don James IS well into the Super class (he's 365) and he wants my world record bench and is opening with it..he does it all the time in training he says...well OK I'll try to break my own "308" record while he tries to get my Superheavy record just 2.2 pounds more....so after a good sleep (paper thin walls at the Olympia Red Lion tho--I think I was in a scene from the movie' Meet the Humpers' for a while at 3 am or so...) I decide to 'puff up' so my shirt will fit tighter..what Robert ? with salty foods --chips--chicken soup--Gatorade???--no I think I'll take a real chance and try LOTS more Creatine than I've ever taken seeing that when I did use it as a supplement many years back I personally NEVER had stomach upset or 'muy pooposities' with it...so down chokes 5 grams --hmm or did I miss measure and take 10 grams???..gack..that was hard...oh well, if my calculations are right the interstitial water will go to my muscles by lifting time....that is....if my calculations are right !!....you see it comin dontcha?? of course you do ....After Breakfast..actually during breakfast ..I felt a little sulphuric of breath --queasy--stomach rumble bass boom box rumble ka ploot boom boom ploot' flarp'...after the meal I made it to the bathroom just in time..as soon as I could call myself "Dummy" I was 5 pounds lighter as I just barely sat down to a creatine backfire..oh THOSE are the stomach cramps and the watery 'foo foo' OTHER people have experienced with too much monohydrate !! --OK now my main concern was not whether Don James would get the best lifter trophy or beat my record ...It was would I make it thru the meet without 'embarrassing' myself on the expensive new bench --to make a long story short I nearly had that accident 8 more times thruout the day, barely making it to shelter each time to keep my murky secret...it took 3 days before my system normalized --I must've mis- measured and taken twice or 3 times the normal dose..Now to the lifting by Nancy and myself...Nancy was focused and strong and ready for a PR and she hit a perfect 80 KG bench about 10 kilos over bodyweight on this day... she was elated with this record because it became a WABDL Canadian National record for the masters 47-53 class and she received a beautiful certificate from Gus Rethwisch a week after she made it...now that is one fast records turn around ...well,hell it's a record for getting a record...Nancy is going for a 90 KG bench by worlds in Reno. I was nervous about getting a lift in so I opened light (490) I smoked it to 3 whites --Gus thought I had 534 in me that day judging from the bar speed !! Don James misses his opener--love ya Don ...but that was the ugliest lift I've ever seen...Don was cramping --but not in the way the Creatine was cramping me...I come out to break my 308 record I do 512.5 and the chips (513.5--514??) and up it goes like a rocket wow..but something is not quite right--it whacked the uprights on the way up...that's ok in WABDL as long as the 'whack' doesn't help the lift ...but still something just isnt right...oh, I know.. I'm locked out INSIDE the rack --not touching it --but in it...they have to turn that one down...Head judge Donna Delleree is funny when she says 'RACK' she intones that signal with a 'Well DUH !' to the command...so no lift on 2nd attempt lotsa strength tho....Don James cant get his up...weird..because Don has deltoids the size of most peoples glutes..he is a mighty man...I come out for my last attempt knowing for sure I'll smoke it and am contemplating going on to 523...so I get the press signal and up it goes and forward it goes....what??...forward ??? now my wrists are moving forward and down which will make me drop it on my gut OR if I pull it back and down I can escape wearing the bar like a cummerbund ...so because of a misgroove I'm left with a 490 opener and no whites for my 2nd and 3rd --so I'm not allowed a 4th attempt...Here comes Don again will he break my record (and get even ONE lift in??) NO another real weak attempt...man ..I know this guy is going to take the record one day BUT luckily it wasn't today ..I get a first place cup and the Best lifter Award of the 61-67 class lifters... it is an ornate sword with amazing details on the handle...I make a deal with Nancy on the way home in the car..if she makes 90kgs in the bench this year ...worlds would be the most likely place...she will win the sword away from me...IF we can get it thru the border...."Anything to declare Sir??"...umm...'Yes, one weapon of mass destruction crafted in Pakistan.' --"Pull over sir....phew!!...have you been taking too much Creatine sir??" ...go back and look at the pictures..... |